Eáránë Táralóm
by vintagexromance
Summary: Too random for it's own good.... written by two bored teenagers on Neopets... brace yourself


**Disclaimer: The author's do are in no way in cahoots with J.R.R. Toliken, Cameron Crowne, whoever thought up Kingdom Hearts, Ted Elliot and Terry Russio, Eoin Colfer, J.K. Rowling, whoever thought up Beauty and the Beast, Tom Bleecker and Marc Rocoo. Orlando Bloom, Keria Knightley, Adrien Brody, Johnny Depp, Disney, New Line Cimena, Sony, Warner Brothers, Paramont Pictures. We are merely have have too much with those charcters.**

Shot of: Will throwing peanuts overboard

Will: Hee-hee, this is fun. throws more peanuts

Shot of: Elizabeth and Will

Elizabeth: Good thinking, honey! I've always hated peanuts. throws peanuts with Will

Jack: Where's my special Honey-Roasted peanuts!

Will: Umm... we were lightening the... ship...?

Jack: shakes his head A can of peanuts weighs about half a pound. If you REALLY wanted to lighten the ship, you'd throw yourself overboard.

Elizabeth: Well, why don't you just throw yourself off the boat? You're heavier than anyone here! points finger at Jack

Jack: Elizabeth, luv, I think Barbossa weighs at least.. uh, Jack scratches his head with the barrel of his revolver Barbossy! How much d'you weigh?

Barbossa: looks suprised Err... tell me how much you weigh first.

Jack: Uhh, ask Elizabeth. She knows.

Elizabeth: glares at Jack How the heck would I know, Jack? You should really take care of yourself.

Jack: Don't be stupid. Of course you know. You just don't want to admit it.

Will: gets out gun and points it at head Come on, Jack. Tell everyone before I shoot myself.

Jack: shrugs a bites into an apple Barbossa weighs more then me. He broke the scale.

Barbossa: That was only once! makes a fist and gets out his sword

Jack: More like... five. But who's counting? After all, we do have umlimted money for trips to Shopko, to replace the scales that Barbossa broke. After he ate that pig...

Barbossa: Well, you look so much like a pig! I think I'll just eat you!

Jack: Mate, if I looked like a pig, I wouldn't have any girlfriends. Women like the rugged outdoorsy type. It's a shame that you don't posse that quality. Jack throws the half-eaten apple at Barbossa

Barbossa: Well, you look so much like a pig! I think I'll just eat you!

Elizabeth: Stop fighting. Just face it, Jack, you do look like a pig, and Barbossa, you need to go on a little diet.

Jack: You're mean. You can kiss me ever spending time with you again.

Barbossa: I wouldn't want to spend time with you. I don't blame her

Jack: I wouldn't want to spend time with you either. You don't use big words.

Barbossa: Supercalafragilisticexpealadoceous. How's that? Huh? Now would you want to spend time with me?

Jack: No.. go die with Will.

Elizabeth: Better yet, go die by yourself, Barbossa.

Jack: No, ugly people should always die together.

Elizabeth: My honey poo is not ugly. Just... a little weird looking...

Jack: Your 'honey poo'? You never called Norrie THAT. Is Will SPECIAl or something?

Elizabeth: Everyone's special in their own way.

Jack: You sound like Barney. I'm not sure I'll let you sleep in a cabin tonight.

Elizabeth: I certainly do not watch Barney. That is the most childest show ever. I watch Telitubbies.

Jack: Ha-ha! I bet you watch Boobahs too!

Barbossa: hides Boobah dolls

Jack: AHHH! shoves Barbossa over-board

Elizabeth: Yay! kisses Jack on the cheek My hero!

Jack: Just doing my civic duty. pulls Will out of the bathroom You next, pretty boy

Elizabeth: NO! HONEY POO!

Jack: roughly shoves Elizabeth aside Shut up, or you'll be next, carrot blossom.

Elizabeth: Hey! slaps Jack

Jack: Not sure I deserved that... But, honey bunches, he's ugly! He'd never make you happy.

Elizabeth: But, he doesn't steal the magazines out of the bathroom. Unlike someone here. glares at Jack

Jack: That wasn't me! That's Barbossa!

Elizabeth: Oh, then carry on.

Jack: Bye-bye Will, say your prayers!

Will: says prayers, is dead

Elizabeth: Crap, I changed my mind... slaps Jack again

Jack: Elizabeth, darling, I thought you loved me.

loud gasps from doggy-paddling Barbossa, and dead Will

Elizabeth: As you said, it wouldn't work out between us. But, I changed my mind again. shoots doggy-paddling Barbossa Shut up, Barbossa!

Elizabeth: hugs Jack I love you, muffin face!

Jack: into Elizabeth's hair Muffin Face?

Elizabeth: What, you don't like it, muffin face?

Jack: I makes me sound like I have zits.

Kadi/Kairie: Are you insulting me? slaps Jack OMG! I slapped Jack! I'll never wash this hand again.

Elizabeth: stares at me Who are you?

Victoria/Ginny: Uhh... Kairie... I don't think we're supposed to be here. JACK! OMG! Can I have a used tissue?

Jack: Uhhhhhhhhhhh... looks at me

Kadi/Kairie: Oh. Oops... GIVE ME ONE, TOO, JACK/JOHNNY! Does anyone have a frame?

Elizabeth: What, does no one like me?

Victoria/Ginny: No... AHHHHH! freaks out

Jack: I like you, darling. uhh.. insert random affection here

Kadi/Kairie: takes Jack's compass Muhaha.

Elizabeth: Why, thank you, Jack.

Victoria/Ginny: has Jack's belt Let's go now. And let them smooch.

Jack: Just doing my... falls down

Kadi/Kairie: Okay. I've got Jack's compass, and you've got his belt, lets go to Isle de Muerte!

Elizabeth: CPR!

Victoria/Ginny: Boldly going were no man as gone before!

Jack: I'm alright, darling.

Kadi/Kairie: Err... giggles Jack? Do you have a like... little boat we could borrow?

Elizabeth: Yay?

Victoria/Ginny: Let's just commadeer... this ship. points at floor

Jack: Shut up. You don't love me anymore. tragic sob

Kadi/Kairie: Lets. o

Elizabeth: I still love you, sugar lump!

Victoria/Ginny: evil laugh

Jack: Will you still love me if they maroon us on an island, and steal the Black Pearl?

Kadi/Kairie: evil laughs with you

Elizabeth: Is there rum?

Victoria/Ginny: maroons them

Jack: But, of course. What's a marooning without a little hangover?

Kadi/Kairie: Do you know how to steer a ship?

Elizabeth: How much rum?

Victoria/Ginny: No.. I thought you did...

Jack: Enough to get you and me drunk enough.

Kadi/Kairie: Dangit.

Elizabeth: Okay, then I still love you.

Victoria/Ginny: We've still got the crew.

Jack: Good. I want it to stay that way, and least until tomorrow.

Kadi/Kairie: steals Jack's gun Okay, crew. Take us to Isle de Muerte or we'll shoot you.

Elizabeth: You can count on it.

Kadi/Kairie: Yay?

Elizabeth: Holy crap! Will?

Victoria/Ginny: Now I'm Holly Short. Ex-LEP Captain.

Dead Will: is dead

Victoria/Ginny: gives you copy of Artemis Fowl Read and learn, read and learn.

Jack: Uhh.. 'cause.. he's... uh, ghee, DEAD?

Kadi/Kairie: scratches back of head Hee, hee.

Elizabeth: Good point.

Victoria/Ginny: It's actually not a bad book... ROOM SERVICE!

Jack: Like, duh, how do we get off this island anyways?

Kadi/Kairie: Hmm... Yay! I finished Kingdom Hearts 2 last night at 11:14 pm! Woot!

Elizabeth: Do we have a map?

Victoria/Ginny: That's.. off topic.

Jack: We were MAROONED. They have my compass, and my belt. tragic sob hold me, Lizzie!

Kadi/Kairie: I know. xD

Elizabeth: Oh, sorry. My memory isn't as good as it used to be. hugs Jack Why must I forget things?

Victoria/Ginny: xD Then... why'd you say it?

Jack: You're... twenty.

Kadi/Kairie: Cuz I was happy. xD

Elizabeth: I am? Oh. I thought I was 62. xD Told you it's not as good as it used to be. xD

Ginny/Victoria: Okay...

Jack: That's it, you're sleeping on the other side of the island.

Kadi/Kairie: xD

Elizabeth: Dang...

Victoria/Ginny: This boat ain't movin'.

Jack: Why do you care?

Kadi/Kairie: Crap.

Elizabeth: I'm scared of the dark.

Victoria/Ginny: Triple Crap.

Jack: What am I supposed to do about that? Sleep with you?

Kadi/Kairie: Quadroople Crap.

Elizabeth: I really am, though.

Victoria/Ginny: Googleplex Crap.

Jack: Answer my question. he waves a stick around

Kadi/Kairie: xD

Elizabeth: What was the question, again?

Victoria/Ginny: xD

Jack: Where do you want to sleep?

Lizzie: How about under that tree? points

Jack: I thought you where "afraid of the dark" I'M sleeping on the other side of the island.

Elizabeth: But there's a lantern over there! Are you blind, man?

Jack: That's mine. I'm taking it with me.

Elizabeth: slaps Jack I say it's staying with me!

Jack: Shut up. takes lantern, and runs away

Elizabeth: That's it, give me your gun!

Jack: is asleep has gun under him

Elizabeth: kicks Jack

Jack: randomly shoots gun

Elizabeth: Did you just waste your bullet?

Jack: goes back to sleep, and throws Elizabeth a dead bird

Elizabeth: kicks Jack You... err... poop head!

Jack: What? I thought you where hungry?

Elizabeth: smacks Jack

Jack: Not sure I derserved that. a dead Barbossa washes up onto the shore

Ginny/Victoria: Thank you. drinks iced tea

Elizabeth: looks at Barbossa Yay! Food!

Kadi/Kairie: has some iced tea

Jack: Oh, my God, ELIZABETH!

Victoria/Ginny: I love iced tea.. it's so... teaish.

Elizabeth: grabs sticks and licks her lips I'm a poet and I didn't know it.

Kadi/Kairie: Yep. I like rasberry iced tea.

Jack: runs for his life

Victoria/Ginny: I just like... iced tea, straight.

Elizabeth: laughs histarically

Kadi/Kairie: I like... rasberry iced tea, straight. xD

Jack: Oh, fine, make light of my misfortunes, it won't make rum appear.

Ginny/Victoria: xD I also like water.

Elizabeth: gets out knife

Jack: kisses Elizabeth

Elizabeth: smirks You can't earn my love that way, Jack.

Jack: desperately How can I, then?

Elizabeth: Somehow make all of the rum appear.

Jack: I can't honey buches! cries Half an hour ago you couldn't keep your hands off of me!

Elizabeth: I'm sorry that I have mood swings. hugs Jack

Jack: falls down with Elizabeth

Elizabeth: I hate you! Just kidding.

Jack: Don't joke about those things.

Elizabeth: Your belt is undone! Made you look! flicks Jack's nose

Jack: Ginny STOLE my belt. kisses Elizabeth again

Elizabeth: Geez, I was just kidding, honey bottom.

Jack: Hummpfh.

Elizabeth: What now?

Jack: I sleep.

Elizabeth: That's not fun...

Jack: And you sleep. Over there. points

Elizabeth: bites Jack's finger off Mmmm...

A fairy appears, sticks Jack's finger on with some blue sparks, and disappears

Jack: I hate you now.

Elizabeth: I thought your finger was made of candy. -puppy dog eyes-

Jack: Why don't you just drench me in sugar while you're at it.

Elizabeth: Because we don't have any, silly!

Jack: I'm tired.. I'm gonna turn in.

Elizabeth: stabs Jack There you go.

Elizabeth: stabs Jack to death

Magical fairy comes and brings Will back to life and Ginny has to play him

Jack: comes back to life because of Holly, Holly kills Will for good, and Jack and Elizabeth are thrust into the water This is... comfy...

Elizabeth: Dang it.

Jack: I thought you loved me. Five mintues ago you probably would have killed to be in the water me.. Women... shakes head

Elizabeth: sticks tongue out

Jack: NOW how is Jacqueline supposed to be born? If you "loathe" me so much!&(

Elizabeth: sticks butt in Jack's face

Jack: What the hell was that?

Elizabeth: That's what your face looks like.

-pees pants-

Jack: We're in the water, and you're not wearing pants.

Elizabeth: magical fairy comes and puts pants on Elizabeth How's that?

Jack: Holly is on vacation.

Elizabeth: Crap.

Jack: I know. So, let's get this show on the road?

Elizabeth: So... now what, then?

Jack: We get the show on the road.

Elizabeth: swims to the shore

Jack: Okay, I meant I go to bed.. it's, like, midnight. And you're afriad of the dark..

Elizabeth: So, how are we going to solve this?

Jack: By you dealing with it, and actually SLEEPING. So I feel all nice and chipper in the morning.

Elizabeth: mumbles You're never nice and chipper.

Jack: WAS THAT AN INSULT!

Jack: Elizabeth... I'm always nice and chipper.

Elizabeth: Then what was that outburst?

Jack: What outburst?

Elizabeth: I dunno.

Jack: Are you tired?

Kadi/Kairie: I am. I think I'm getting sick...

Jack: Uhhh.. aren't you supposed to be on the boat?

Victoria/Ginny: Aww... I'm just getting over a nasty cold..

Elizabeth: is confused I was?

Kadi/Kairie: goes to look Omg! I luff it! It's beautiful!

Jack: Yeah. You where, you little cannibal you.

Victoria/Ginny: modestly Thank you, kind stranger.

Elizabeth: Hmm... I'd never do that. Would I?

Kadi/Kairie: You're welcome, kind stranger. xD

Jack: Dude. Musta been a mood swing or somethin'.

Victoria/Ginny: xD That's it for my creativity today. I re-did firexandxice's lookup. So I'm burnt. Not burnt out enough, however, to make a Lord of the Rings style Matrix poster.

Elizabeth: What are you implying?

Kadi/Kairie: xD I don't understand how you make such good lookups. I wish I was that good... I feel like making a really plain lookup for some reason...

Jack: That you're... moody?

Victoria/Ginny: I dunno either... lotta pratice? I like plain. Plain is good. All my lookups are plain. Did you ever figure out the blending tutorial?

Elizabeth: Oh. Okay. Have you ever been to Singapore?

Kadi/Kairie: Hmm... I like plain, too. Nope, I didn't figure it out...

Jack: Duh

Victoria/Ginny: Oooooh, did it not turn out? -is curious- Maybe it's just the brushes. Yeah, the brushes, that make my graphics look good. -nodnod-

Elizabeth: coughs hacks I think I'm coming down with something.

Kadi/Kairie: Nope. It didn't turn out... I think your lookups would look good even without the brushes.

Victoria/Ginny: Was it save-worthy? I'm way to nosy... I love brushes... but people are all "Tune down the brushes" or "you're obsessed with Jack. I'm taking five points off."

Jack: Wadda want, and hug and a kiss?

Elizabeth: Yes, please.

Kadi/Kairie: Nope. It turned out majorly crappy. I mean, MAJORLY crappy. I like brushes... a lot.

Jack: kisses her The hug is part of the kiss package.

Victoria/Ginny: Crap. I wanted to see. xD I like them even more after I figured out how to convert the 5th Muse brushes...

Elizabeth: Thanks.

Kadi/Kairie: The 5th what? xD

Jack: You really need to wear lipgloss, mate.

Victoria/Ginny: Muse. See... puuuuuuuuuurdy.

Elizabeth: Was it invented in our time?

Kadi/Kairie: Poo. I only have Paint Shop Pro 9.

Jack: You wear lipstick in the movie..

Victoria/Ginny: I've converted them into Paint Shop Pro 9... if you'd like, I can send you the files...

Elizabeth: I... knew that...

Kadi/Kairie: Hmm...

Jack:o you don't wear lipstick on the island though. Just eyeshadow. Sparklie eyeshadow.

Victoria/Ginny: I kinda need a yes or a know.. xD -makes "advanced" blend-

Elizabeth: Okay. Let's just say that.

Kadi/Kairie: I'll think about it.

Jack: I'm still tired.

Victoria/Ginny: Okay. You do that. And I'll make my blend, think up a story idea, and drink the never-ending glass of water.

Elizabeth: Okay.

Kadi/Kairie: Okay.

Scarlett appears

Jack: Scarlett! Finally!

Scarlett: Why, hellloo Jack.

Jack: Elizabeth, you be a good little girl and stay here and play with your toys, while Scarlett and I discuss growup matters. Savvy?

Elizabeth: yawns

Jack: Or better yet, GO TO BED!

Elizabeth: pouts

Jack: Good-night, precious.

Elizabeth: kicks Jack

Jack: What did I say?

Elizabeth: bites Jack in the arm

Lumiere: I'm human again!

Chip: How come I'm not? calls for Beast

Beast: What do you crappy want? kicks Chip

Chip: Oww...

Beast: Who in the crappy world is this? points to Lumiere

Lumiere: I'm human!

Babette: Oooooh, Lumiere!

Belle: Somebody has commitment issues...

Jack: points at self The story is about ME, peoples!

Beast: Who the crap are you?

Lumiere: Yah, really, who are you?

Coggsworth: tick tocks

Chip: Crap. You chipped me again, Beast!

Jack: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow! And I have two girlfriends, and successful career, and more bottles of rum then I can count. STOP TICKING!

Beast: What the crap?

Elizabeth: I was thinking the same.

Jack: No rum for you! drinks it all

Elizabeth: Didn't you already drink all of the rum?

Jack: No.. I drank your half.

Elizabeth: kicks Jack Now both of us are going to die, you idiot.

Jack: Nobody's going to die... with the exception of you.

Beast: craps Oh, crap!

Coggsworth: tick tocks

Jack: Ah-ah. Shut up clock!

Coggsworth: Tick! points

Beast: Shut up, you crap holes!

Belle: is huffy What a nice why to treat your Fiancee!

Jack: I'm not a crap hole, right Elizabeth?

Beast: Yes, you crap hole!

Elizabeth: I think you're a crap hole...

Scarlett: My Jacky-poo isn't a carp hole!

Holly: Who's a crap hole?u\ .Jack: I most certainly am not!

Dead Barbossa: Where's the rum?

Elizabeth: Yes, he is.

Beast: Who's that crap hole that washed up on the beach? Why am I even on this crappy beach, anyway?

Kadi/Kairie: I got the Harris avatar. xD Want to use it?

Scarlett: Who ARE you anyways?

Lumiere: What's with the elf? And the dead dude?

Holly: I'm not dead!

Belle: You're on this carppy beach because of Lumiere.

Victoria/Ginny: Thank you, but I got it the day it came out. -strokes Gossiper-

Beast: Who? Me, you crap hole? Or that crap hole over there? points to Belle

Dead Barbossa: POOP! twitches

Kadi/Kairie: Do you want to actually use it on the neoboards, though? xD

Belle: I'm not a crap hole, you're a crap hole!

Scarlett: The other lady. The one that bit Jack's arm.

Holly: Where's the poop? Who isn't potty trained? eyelid twitch

Victoria/Ginny: Yeah.

Beast: Well, yo momma's a crap hole!

Elizabeth: Me? That's it! I'm gonna bite YOUR arm! bites Scarlett's arm

Dead Barbossa: THE HAIRY MAN!

Belle: Doode, my momma's DEAD. D-E-A-D.

Jack: You bit my arm! And now you bite my little lambs arm! I hate you!

Holly: AHHHHHH! The Beast? Or Jack?

Beast: Well, she's still a crap hole.

Elizabeth: I thought I was your little lamb! head butts Jack

Dead Barbossa: THE HAIRIER ONE.

Belle: You've never even met her!

Jack: You bit my arm!

Holly: AGGGGG! Take cover!

Beast: Well, if your mother looked anything like you then she's a big crap hole.

Al Gore: Manbearpig is out to get us! I'm cereal!

Elizabeth: Yah, well you drank all of the rum! So you deserve it!

Beast: takes a big crap on Holly's head

Belle: Hey! You're no Tom Cruise yourself!

Legolas: Cereal?

Jack: You were being a flake!

Holly: You ruined my auburn crew cut! sobs

Beast: I was...

Al Gore: Why doesn't anyone take me cereal! Manbearpig is out there! He's half man, half bear, and half pig!

Elizabeth: gets a coconut, throws it at Jack and knocks him out

Beast: Now it's a brown, smelly blob! Muhahaha!

Belle: Yeah, right! Now, me, I'm a Sandra Bullock.

Legolas: Sounds a bit like Aragorn.

Aragorn: Hey! I take a shower every two months.

Orlando Bloom: Ewwww... I smell something nasty.

Scarlett: What have you done to my little lamb! sobs

Holly: Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Kermit: sings Someday we'll find it.. the raindow connection... the lovers... the dreamers... and me!

Kadi/Kairie: This is insane. xD

Beast: takes a crap on Belle's head causing her to sufficate and pass out

Johnny Depp: Woah. I thought I was in this movie. Orlando, weren't you in this movie, too?

Jack: gurgles

Gonzo: I'm the great Gonzo!

Victoria/Ginny: In a good way. xD

Lumiere: Now he's a superstar, slammin' on his guitar... uses air guitar

Orlando: What movie?

Elizabeth: My precious! throws herself on Aragorn

Kermit: And I am the great... frog!

Kadi/Kairie: I guess. xD

Chip: yells Avril Lavigne! Wooo!

Johnny: I always forget the name... Willy Wonka? No... oh, yes, Edward Scissorhands! Wait... maybe not...

Orlando: to Elizabeth Hey, I was in a movie with a guy that said that! looks at Johnny Was that the movie?

Gonzo: does the Cabbage Patch

Lumiere: Dance with me, Babette.

Orlando: Secret Window!

Elizabeth: Said what? huggles Aragorn

Legolas: Who are you? You look to much like me.

Kermit: dies

Babette: dances

Johnny: Hmm... Finding Neverland?

Orlando: 'My Precious'.

Orlando: Hmm... I don't think you look like me. You have whitish hair. Plus, I'm cooler.

Kermit: twitches

Jack: What the crap happened?

Lumiere: Dances.

Keira: Ewww... you have bad hair in that movie.

Elizabeth: Aragorn IS my precious!

Holly: Well, I got pooped on, and you got knocked out.

Chip: Hi.

Johnny: Yep. I didn't like myself in that movie. I didn't like the storyline, either.

Aragon: I'm a little freaked out, here.

Jack: Who's this guy with the good hair? points to Johnny

Holly: Hi.

Keira: I should have stared in that movie! Then you could have stared in The Jacket for me! Stupid plot, nobody ever says 'crap' and you wear a really ugly bandanna.

Elizabeth: kisses Aragorn

Legolas: HE'S MARRIED!

Holly: You have good hair, Jack, Johnny has bad hair.

Johnny: That would've been fun.

Jack: Okay, I'll believe you.

Beast: Why the crap doesn't anyone talk to me?

Keira: Too bad it's rated R.

Holly: You are you anyways?

Legolas: Because you're a crap hole!

Beast: Okay, that's it you piece of crap! You wanna take this outside? shoves Legolas

Frodo: points to feet Hee hee... my feet are hairy...

Legolas: We ARE outside, stupid!

Aragorn: Go away, Frodo!

Jack: Where's Scarlett?

Beast: Did you just sass me? That's it! bites a chunk off of Legolas' arm

Frodo: Make me.

Scarlett: Here.

Legolas: AHHH! I have blood all over my rose coloured tunic!

Aragorn: Fine. Stay. KILL THE BEAST!

Jack: Yeh!

Beast: You deserved it you crap hole!

Sora: summons Mushu Geez, this doesn't look like any heartless I've seen!

Frodo: gets out a torch

Elizabeth: How about me?

Legolas: I hope you know a good dry cleaner!

Holly: Who the hell are you?

Aragorn: gets sword

Jack: You're sitting on Orlando's lap and watching.

Orlando: WHAT?

Beast: Yah, my mouth you crap hole!

Sora: Hiya! I'm Sora. I'm the key bearer. And this is Donald and Goofy.

Donald: Hi.

Goofy: Hey there. What did you say your name was?

Elizabeth: Who is this Orlando you speak of?

Legolas: NOOOOOOOOO!

Holly: I'm Holly. This is Artemis.

Artemis: Hi kind stranger. I'm Artemis.

Jack: The dude.. over there points

Beast: is about to eat Legolas but is stopped

Sora: Hey, Beast! How are you?

Beast: Oh, hey Sora! I haven't seen you since the second Kingdom Hearts in my castle. Man, those Organization 13 dudes were a pain in the crap hole.

Sora: What were you doing to that guy? points to Legolas By the way, hello, Holly. And Artemis.

Elizabeth: Oooo... he's handsome. I'd take him over you any day, Jack.

Legolas: He's eating me!

Jack: He's ugly. smashes Orlando's face against a tree

Keira: Too violent!

Artemis: Hi. I'm fourteen.

Beast: Yah, cuz he's a crap hole!

Sora: Well, do you even know him?

Orlando: You piece of crap! smacks Jack against another tree

Sora: I'm fifteen.

Carpet: flies in

Legolas: NOOOOO!

Scarlett: NO! Hot guy!

Artemis: I'm smarter then you.

Aragorn: bad carpet!

Orlando: Who, me?

Sora: scratches head How so?

Carpet: cries

Scarlett: Not you. Jack.

Artemis: I'm smarter then Mozart.

Keira: comforts carpet It's okay.

Al Gore: Are you cereal? I'd rather date Orlando. Did I mention that I'm the Ex Vice President?

Sora: I've met someone pretty smart. His name was Ansem the Wise. He figured out how Heartless were made. He died in an explosion when he was trying to stop Xemnas from controlling Kingdom Hearts, though...

Carpet: hugs Keira

Orlando: You're not dating me!

Artemis: I stole gold from the Fairy people. Captured Opal Koboi. And managed to keep my suit clean.

Keira: Awww... you're such a sweet carpet. BAD ARAGORN!

Al Gore: Are you cereal? Who wouldn't want to date me?

Sora: I've destroyed a guy named Ansem. But it was actually a guy named Xehanort. But it was actually his Heartless. I've turned into a Heartless myself, I saved my best friend Kairi, saved my other best friend Riku, destroyed Maleficent, destroyed Xemnas 5 times, and many more.

Carpet: rubs head against Keira

Orlando: I'm Orlando Jonathan Blanchard Bloom.

Artemis: How immature.

Keira: Awwww...

Al Gore: Well... I'm Al Gore. Ex Vice President. I'm cereal here!

Sora: realizes Jack is there Jack! Hiya! How's it going with the Black Pearl? Where's Will?

Carpet: lays on Keira's lap

Orlando: I'm British

Jack: Somebody commandeered it.

Keira: strokes carpet Aren't you just the sweetest thing?

Aragorn:looks like a wounded puppy

Beast: Who the crap cares if you're British?

Al Gore: Yah, cerealy. Manbearpig is chinese, but do you see me complaining?

Sora: Oh, that's too bad. You didn't answer my other question, where's Will?

Carpet: purrs

Beast: I like crappy wounded puppies for lunch.

Orlando: I care. Girls big British guys.

Johnny: Hi Al.

Jack: Will is dead.

Keira: Look! It's purring!

Legolas's Girlfriend: LEGOLAS!

Belle: You will not eat this man for dinner.

Al Gore: Well, maybe Ex Vice President's cerealy dig British guys, too. Eer... hi?

Sora: How did he die?

Carpet: cuddles

Legolas: Err... I can explain?

Beast: Why the crap can't I eat him for dinner?

Orlando: Hi.

Jack: I threw him overboard.

Keira: kisses carpet

Legolas's Girlfriend: Nothing can explain this!

Belle: Because You'll get fat.

Al Gore: Cerealy.

Sora: That wasn't very cool. Why did you throw him overboard?

Carpet: licks Keira

Legolas: Nothing?

Beast: I already am.

Orlando: Hair Gel.

Jack: Because I wanted Elizabeth.

Keira: AWW!

Legolas's Girlfriend: Nothing:

Draco: Who's a crap hole?

Belle: Shut up.

Artemis: Don't say that.

Sora: Everyone, please, stop fighting! I've had enough fighting!

Beast: I refuse you crap hole!

Carpet: stretches

Artemis: It looks like you're a crap hole.

Orlando: Shut up kind stranger.

Keira: hums

Holly: ARTEMIS! No swearing.

Belle: I'm not shutting up anytime soon.

Draco: I have two children.

Beast: That's it! roars runs for Belle is about to attack and kill her

Artemis: Sorry?

Sora: And how old are you?

Aragorn: kills beast

Holly: Nevermind.

Draco: Eighteen.

Sora: I never really liked Beast, anyway.

Donald: How are we going to get out of here.

Goofy: Gawrsh, that's a little young to have two children, isn't it?

Sora: Aragorn, are you hurt? It looks like your rose tunic is a little bloody.

Jack: You're next.

Keira: We're going to skin the beast, and us his fur as a raft.

Draco: Posh. My girlfriend is seventeen. It's not young. Prime of life. movie star smile

Aragorn: No.

Legolas: I'M THE ONE WITH THE BLOODY ROSE COLOURED TUNIC!

Sora: I'm next? I thought we were friends.

Al Gore: Why doesn't anyone take me cereal?

Carpet: gets an orange peeler and attempts to skin Beast

Goofy: Gawrsh.

Sora: Sorry. I get names mixed up. uses magic 'Cure' to heal Legolas

Jack: I have no friends.

Orlando: Because you're fat.

Keira: AWWW! Let me help you!

Draco: Scared of me now?

Legolas: I'm not bleeding.

Sora: But we fought Barbossa together. And that huge Heartless twice! And we sailed to Isle du Muerta and saved Will. We're not friends?

Al Gore: Are you cereal?

Carpet: hugs Keira

Goofy: Why would I be scared of you?

Sora: But you had a chunk of your arm taken out.

Jack: No we didn't.

Scarlett: Who is this girl?

Keira: hugs carpet back

Draco: Because I have two kids. And a girlfriend.

Legolas: Holly has magic. She's my species too. I don't know what the heck you are, but you certainly ain't an elf.

Sora: Yes we did. What girl? You found Kairi?

Carpet: waves

Goofy: is confused So? I have a son.

Sora: Okay. I'm sorry. I use magic. Merlin himself taught me. I'm a human.

Jack: I have no memory of this!

Keira: smiles

Draco: Yeah. But you don't have a girlfriend.

Legolas: Who's Merlin?

Holly: heals Legolas

Sora: All of those things in Port Royal? You don't remember?

Carpet: cuddles up with Keira

Goofy: So? I've got friends. And that's all I need.

Sora: He's a magician. He lives in Hollow Bastion with Leon, Yuffie, Cloud, and Aerith.

Jack: No. Aragorn, kill her, she's annoying.

Keira: strokes carpet

Draco: Uh-huh. Are you married?

Legolas: Whatever.

Sora: Kill who? looks around

Carpet: falls asleep

Goofy: No. And your point is?

Sora: Umm... I'm a guy.

Carpet: snores

Goofy: A dog thing...

Jack: You have bad hair.

Keira: drools

Johnny: Why do I look like this guy?

Draco: Uhh... okay. I didn't know dogs could talk...

Sora: I... do?

Kadi/Kairie: It's okay, Sora. I like your hair. huggles him

Elizabeth: I don't know. I think you could be twins...

Goofy: sighs

Donald: I'm a duck.

Jack: Too much gel.

Victoria/Ginny: Are we going at the raft too?

Johnny: Hmmm... nah.

Draco: Ha-ah!

Coggsworth: I'm a clock.

Sora: Thanks, Kadi.

Kadi/Kairie: You're welcome, Sora. Yah, I guess we'll go on the raft.

Gonzo: The great Gonzo is still here.

Lumiere: I'm a human! Hah hah!

Jack: Hummpfh.

Victoria/Ginny: I'm not sitting on his lap! points at Sora I thought we were still on the Black Pearl!

Frodo: So is the great Frodo.

Babette: So am I!

Victoria/Ginny: I'll sit on Orlando's then.

Frodo: Swheet.

Carpet: cries in Keira's lap

Johnny: casually puts arm on tree

Orlando: Meanie! cries in corner

Goofy: So... now what?

Keira: lays head ontop of Carpet and cries

Draco: You have issues, dude.

Legolas: Yah. I'm SUCH a meanie. flings arrow around

Lumiere: We wait.

Carpet: cries self to sleep

Johnny: Look who's talkin'.

Orlando: Ahh! runs from arrows

Donald: Poo.

Keira: strokes Carpet

Draco: Hey! You wanna piece of me?

Legolas: I look like you.

Lumiere: It's fun.

Babette: Oh, Lumiere!

Carpet: purrs

Johnny: No, honey, I want the whole thing!

Orlando: We're twinnehs!

Goofy: Not really...

Keira: sings

Draco: I don't taste good. Just ask Ginny.

Legolas: hugs Orlando Long lost twins seperated at birth!

Lumiere: Just because YOU don't have a girlfriend.

Johnny: stares at Ginny

Orlando: Brother!

Donald: I do.

Ginny (me): There are actually, TWO Ginny's.

Legolas: Bro! Too bad I'm an elf, and you're a human.

Lumiere: Yeah, but Mr. Dog-thingy here doesn't:o

Kairie: Really?

Orlando: Maybe our mother was an elf and our dad was a human!

Goofy: So...

Sora: I miss Kairi and Riku...

Donald: And the King... don't worry, we'll find them soon.

Ginny (me): Uhhh, yah.

Legolas: You'd still be half-elf.

Lumiere: You're weird.

Jack: I don't. Where's Scarlett?

Scarlett: Right here.

Draco: I'm king.

Kairie: Okay.

Orlando: Maybe I am, but it doesn't show. xD

Goofy: That's why my parents named me Goofy.

Sora: No, you aren't blonde haired kid. Person. Thing.

Donald: King Mickey is!

Ginny: Uh, Ginny Weasley?

Legolas: Have you made the decision to be immortal or mortal?

Lumiere: Uhh, weird and goofy aren't the same thing.

Draco: I'm silver-blonde. Thank you very much.

Elizabeth: You've forgotten about me! sobs

Kairie: Crap. smacks head on table I can be so stupid sometimes.

Orlando: Err...

Goofy: So..

Sora: Pfft.

Jack: Yes, I forgot you were there. Sorry.

Ginny: It's okay.

Aragorn: Are we EVER going to get on the raft?

Jack: No.

Kairie: feels stupid

Keira: But I'm starting to get cold.

Ginny: It's honestly okay. I stayed up until three AM watching the Matrix.

Orlando: You'll feel better once we get to New York.

Kairie: I've never watched that movie. Is it good?

Sora: New York? Is that a new world?

Ginny: It's a guy movie. Kinda 'eewwwwwwww' worthy.

Orlando: Nooooooooooo... it's just in the US of A. You don't have to come if you don't want to.

Kairie: xD

Sora: No, I'll come. I want to get off this island. Even though it kind of reminds me of Destiny Islands...

Ginny: So.. yeah. I watched Elizabethtown too...

Johnny: takes hand off tree This island reminds me of something...

Kairie: That's a good movie...

Donald: Yep.

Ginny: It is.

Johnny: How would you know? You don't even know who I am.

Adrien: Hi. I have a cute nose.

Kairie: Hmm...

Donald: I meant it reminds me of something, too.

Keira: Your nose is big and in the way.

Ginny: Orlando's hair is icky though.

Orlando: HEY!

Johnny: I'm sure it did, duck boy.

Adrien: How do you know?

Kairie: laughs at Orlando

Sora: Hey, he has a name, you know.

Keira: Because you're right in front of me, and you're nose is almost touching me, and I'm like... three feet away from you.

Ginny: He has good hair in the new Dead Man's Chest trailer, though.

Johnny: How was I supposed to know?

Adrien: Uhhhhh... we, kinda, made a movie together? Not so long ago?

Kairie: Hmmm... haven't seen it...

Donald: Grrr...

Keira: I know, Adrien. But I hate you so much that I'm pretending I don't know you.

Ginny: Dude, you need to watch it. We Jack&Elizabeth fans go nutso, at least, I did. Hey, I don't know anybodies name!

Adrien: growls

Kairie: gos to watch

Donald: It's okay.

Keira: Aww, you're so cute when you growl.

Ginny: You need QuickTime, though. Just makin' sure you have it...

Johnny: 'K.

Adrien: I thought you hated me.

Kairie: Yep, I do.

Goofy: I'm Goofy.

Keira: Does that mean I still can't call you cute?

Ginny: Sweet. It's really funny. xD

Scarlett: I'm Scarlett.

Artemis: I'm Artemis.

Orlando: I'm Orlando.

Holly: I'm Holly.

Aragorn: I'm Aragorn.

Adrien: You can't call me cute if you hate me, because that would be saying you liked me, in a round-about way.

Kairie: It keeps on stopping.

Sora: I'm Sora.

Donald: I'm Donald.

Jack: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.

Johnny: I'm Johnny.

Keira: is confused Boy, you start making some sense.

Ginny: I know, you have to wait for the grey thing to reach the end, then it won't stop.

Legolas: I'm Legolas.

Elizabeth: I'm Elizabeth. And I love Jack.

Adrien: I'm Adrien.

Lumiere: I'm Lumiere.

Babette: I'm Babette.

Adrien: WhAT! That made perfect sense!

Ginny: Elizabethtown II: The Wedding. :o

Keira: I'm Keira. And this is Carpet.

Jack: You LOVE me?

Adrien: You're just dense, and lack a higher IQ.

Kairie: xDxD Nope.

Elizabeth: I do.

Keira: Same goes for you, bird nose boy.

Ginny: No, crap, that would be: Drew and Claire: THE WEDDING. xDxDxD

Jack: I do too.

Adrien: Birds don't have noses.

Kairie: Nope. xD points to Jack I had a dream that I was you.

Elizabeth: Really? I thought you loved Scarlette.

Keira: I'm saying that your nose looks like a bird's beak, so you have a bird nose. xP

Ginny:o Shuttup.

Jack: I said I loved ME.

Adrien: Birds don't have noses.

Peter: I'm Peter.

Gore: I'm Gore.

Jack Driscoll: I'm Jack.

Jack Starks: I'm Jack.

Jack: WHA!

Kairie: And I was on the Black Pearl, and I had to fight all of these bad guys.

Elizabeth: sticks tongue out at Jack

Keira: JUST BE QUIET AND LIVE WITH IT!

Al Gore: I'm Al Gore. Ex Vice President.

Ginny: Ghee, that sounds violent.

Jack Starks: I'm Jack.

Gore: WE KNOW!

Peter: Ha-ha.

Adrien: NOOOOO!

Kairie: Yep.

Al Gore: Geez...

Keira: pouts

Ginny: Swheet.

Jack Starks: You don't know who I am, do you?

Adrien: evillaugh

Kairie: No, I'm sorry. I don't know you, Jack Starks.

Keira: craps on Adrien's head

Jack Starks: Look Me Up.

Adrien: Ewwww...

Peter: Do you know who I am?

Gore: And me?

Kairie: I did, but you're not on imdb...

Kairie: Peter... Griffin?

Kairie: Nope...

Jack Starks: That's because I'm a charcter from a movie. :o scarymusicplays

Peter: No...

Gore: I thought you were obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean?

Jack: What's that?

Johnny: A movie I stared in.

Kairie: OMG! I know now! I just realized that I've seen The Jacket. Good movie...

Kairie: ...

Kairie: I am.

Orlando: And me.

Ginny: Yeah.

Peter: King Kong, ehh, ring a bell?

Gore: Ha-ha! laughs himself silly

Keira: And me.

Adrien: Not me.

Frodo: Where's Belle?

Ginny: It was funny.

Peter: Uhh, the director?

Legolas: What's wrong, mortal?

Frodo: I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

Kairie: I saw it a long time ago...

Kairie: I don't know directors...

Kairie: I stupid...

Belle: HOLY CRAP! starts to run but trips over a rock

Ginny: Oh. It came out in 2005. o.o

Peter: sobs

Gore: Yeah.

Frodo: gets out knife

Kairie: That was a long time ago for me. xD

Kairie: sobs along with Peter

Kairie: sobs some more

Belle: has heart attack

Ginny: o.o That's cool.

Jack Driscoll: STOP THE CRYING!

Jack: Right on, ol' buddy.

Jack Starks: Excuse me?

Gore: Do you know who directed Pirates of the Caribbean?

Frodo: stabs Belle

Kairie: xD

Kairie: No... like I said, I can never remember directors. xD

Sora: Holy crap! Belle! looks at Frodo You know, that was really low, man.

Ginny: xD

Gore: I am THE Gore Verbinski, director of Pirates of the Caribbean, Mouse Hunt, The Ring, and some other ones. xD

Frodo: shrugs Maybe I'm really low.

Kairie: bows down to Gore and kisses his feet

Legolas: Or maybe it's that friggin ring of yours...

Gore: Shouldn't you bow down to Peter, too?

Peter: Yeah, 'cause without me and my made directing skills, you wouldn't have King Kong or Lord of the Rings.

Jack Starks: kills Frodo

Aragorn: I highly doubt it.

Kairie: kisses the two directors feet

Legolas: Hey, I wasn't done talking to him...

Gore and Peter: Now that's more like it. movie star smiles and poses

Jack Starks: Oooooopppps.

Kairie: bows down

Legolas: Oh well...

Jack: You forgot about me.

Jack Starks: And Me.

Jack Driscoll: And Me.

Aragorn: What can you do, eh ol' buddy?

Kairie: hugs Jack and bows down xD

Kairie: pokes the other two Jacks

Legolas: I could get on the raft, if you're ready to go, that is.

Lumiere: I'm ready.

Jack: ishuggedandboweddownto I'm ready.

Keira & Carpet: We're ready.

Johnny: I'm ready.

Scarlett & Orlando: We're ready.

Holly: I'm ready.

Artemis: I'm not.

Jack Starks: WHAT?

Jack Driscoll: Huh?

Sora: I'm ready.

Donald: I'm ready.

Goofy: I'm ready.

Kairie: I'm ready. Is there anyone else we forgot?

Carpet: flies into the air with Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Kairie on Sora's lap

Kairie: Ginny, would you like to join me on this carpet... err... thing?

Babette: I'm ready.

Elizabeth: I'm ready.

Jackie: I'm ready.

Claire: I'm ready.

Drew: I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

Peter: I'm ready.

Gore: I'm ready.

Aragorn: I'm ready.

Chip: I'm ready.

Gonzo: I'm ready.

Babette: I'm ready.

Elizabeth: I'm ready.

Jackie: I'm ready.

Claire: I'm ready.

Drew: I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

Peter: I'm ready.

Gore: I'm ready.

Aragorn: I'm ready.

Chip: I'm ready.

Gonzo: I'm ready.

Ginny: stares at all of them Noo...

Ginny: hops on Take that as a yes, my friend.

Kairie: Wow, I forgot a lot of people.

Kairie: Okay. xD

Jack: Hiya, Elizabeth.

Ginny: Yes, you did.

And here ends Part One of the Saga of the two roaring drunk cursed pirate elfs


End file.
